The truth of all things: how to be real and vulnerable in the face of imperfection


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Several weeks ago I wrote about a profound spiritual experience that occurred in my life six years ago. I spent months umming and ahhhing about whether to publish the post and didn’t do so due to fear.

–>> I was scared that I would be judged for believing in God, the powers of the Universe or a Higher Power

–>> I was scared that I would be judged in general

–>> I was scared of being vulnerable

–>> I was scared that some of my readers wouldn’t connect to this side of me and so would leave

–>> I was scared that showing that side of me would separate me from those who don’t have a spiritual life

–>> I was scared what others would think

And the list went on …

All of these things were going around and around in my mind and rather than leaning and opening into the fear (as I encourage my clients to do), I listened to the thoughts and beliefs and told myself they were true. For several months I let the post sit there and didn’t publish it.

Then one day, as I was sitting comfortably on my couch pondering about life, I remembered why I launched my coaching business in the first place. It was exactly two years ago that I made a decision that was going to change the direction of my life and I couldn’t be more grateful for that decision today (and yes, it’s an exciting anniversary, and yes there will be celebratory gifts coming soon!!).

I started my coaching business so that I could help others. I knew with utmost certainty that I could draw on personal experience, along with practical skills, learning and coaching techniques, to inspire my clients to be open to transformation and change. And so on July 5th I hit publish and there has been a dramatic shift in energy since that moment.

Rather than cutting people out as I had feared, after I published such an honest post, I had so many people reaching out to me with beautiful comments and thoughts. Some friends were saying ‘Yeah! Well done, I am so proud of you’ while others said ‘Yes! Thank you for sharing about God and spirituality.’ Then there was another who said ‘What a fantastic story, now how did you do it?’ And the conversation grew from there.


Here are three things I have learned after hitting publish on such an honest and real post:


Embrace imperfection

One thing I have noticed in the last two years is a trend among coaches and creatives to only show the good stuff on social media. This means portraying feeling good, looking good and having everything they ever desired along with a magnificent ‘lifestyle’ and never having a fearful or insecure thought again. While this may be part of the picture, I believe this offers a skewed interpretation of life. Letting people in on the tough stuff shows we are human. It also gives people around us the opportunity to fuck up and be imperfect themselves.

Every single person in this world experiences moments of fear, uncertainty and imperfection. It is called life. The more we can be real, rather than putting on a performance and acting like everyone thinks we should act, the more powerful our message is going to be.

Whether you are a business owner, a coach, a creative, or someone looking to start a new relationship, what it comes down to is letting go of the need to be perfect and embracing all that is you.

Embrace vulnerability

The more I reveal of myself and choose intimacy the more I attract my ideal clients, readers, friends and followers into my life.

These are people on the same journey as me, people who are open to choosing authenticity and vulnerability. Lately I have been seeing images and reminders of this wherever I go. These reminders are a way of telling me to be vulnerable and open. Dare to show the full you and you never know what you will receive in return.

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Instagram @happihabits

Embrace honesty and inner truth

Rather than bringing any negatives to me or my business as I feared it would, sharing more of my personal story has only served to draw my readership, friends, and potential clients closer.

The more intimate we can be, the more intimate others feel they can be. It is a two way relationship. How can you expect your clients, loved ones or potential partner to turn up and be vulnerable and honest if you are not being honest yourself?

You can’t.

Being real involves tuning into your deepest needs and desires and having the courage to speak your truth. Maybe this means breaking down sometimes. Or perhaps it means fumbling over your words when you are on a date. It doesn’t matter. You are unique and wonderful just the way you are.

Make no apologies for who you are, and what you stand for.

No more hiding.

No more excuses.

No more apologies.

Make today about you.

Be real, raw, honest and true.

A challenge for embracing real living:

Today, go out and share something with someone you have never shared before. Tell someone something about yourself you haven’t told them. Share a moment, a memory, a feeling, or a thought. Do it as a gift to yourself for willing to be open with others.

You could even start by doing so in the comments below. With each person who shares something with me, I will share something in return.

With love and pure honesty,

Tess x

P.s. If you are curious about how I created the transformation in my life and want to know more then click the button below and we will set up a free discovery session

Contact me now for your free discovery session

pps if you liked this post and want to receive more information that will help you live a fulfilling and creative life head over here and download your free PDF today with 5 Tools to Help You Get Unstuck.

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